Uncleftish Beholding

North v South – less regular than a bran-intolerate heroin addict.

We ask the questions that the Conservative and Labour parties are too afraid to ask:

• How are your biorhythms this morning?
• Will there be baby woodpeckers in Rob's garden this winter?
• What is a brand guru and is it strictly legal?
• And, finally, what kind of casserole would Darth Vader eat?